Differences
Waiting in line for the bathroom yesterday a woman in from of me turned around and just stared me down, For about two uncomfortable minutes I looked off in a bunch of different directions pretending I didn't see her and hoping she would stop and turn back around. If your an American, you know how it's done. But, like a true Pole she continued to stare. Finally, I decided to look her straight in the eyes and let her know I was not ok with her behavior. According to the American script, she should have quickly looked away. But unfortunately I was forced to hold her gazed for what seemed like forever before she turned back around.
This is just one of many examples of something I've learned quite well about the Polish people. They like to stare, a lot. As an American, I become very uncomfortable when someone stares at me for an extended period of time. Where I'm from, staring is considered rude. Not that Americans don't stare- I just think that we hide it better, because it's not socially accepted. Here, it's ok to stare. It's ok to stand right next to someone and look them up and down, up and down. They study every detail about me with no expression on their faces. No smile, no frown, no anything- just a blank expression with a hint of curiosity. But that's just it. They stare because they are curious, and because in their culture it's not considered rude. Still, it's hard to get use to.
Another thing that I've found a little difficult to get use to is the differences in the understanding of personal space. Knocking into someone does not necessarily warrant a "przepraszam." Whereas in the States, we would go out of our way to offer many apologies, even our first born child, if we just barley brush up beside someone. Sometimes this invasion of space can get really overwhelming when standing in line at the check out counter- if you can even call it a line. Everyone just crowds up behind you, as if somehow this will make the checker go faster. It's funny. First I feel annoyed and want to push them away. Then I feel guilty because I'm in their country and I feel like a spoiled, bratty American. I just doesn't seem to bother them, so I guess I can't let it bother me.
This is just one of many examples of something I've learned quite well about the Polish people. They like to stare, a lot. As an American, I become very uncomfortable when someone stares at me for an extended period of time. Where I'm from, staring is considered rude. Not that Americans don't stare- I just think that we hide it better, because it's not socially accepted. Here, it's ok to stare. It's ok to stand right next to someone and look them up and down, up and down. They study every detail about me with no expression on their faces. No smile, no frown, no anything- just a blank expression with a hint of curiosity. But that's just it. They stare because they are curious, and because in their culture it's not considered rude. Still, it's hard to get use to.
Another thing that I've found a little difficult to get use to is the differences in the understanding of personal space. Knocking into someone does not necessarily warrant a "przepraszam." Whereas in the States, we would go out of our way to offer many apologies, even our first born child, if we just barley brush up beside someone. Sometimes this invasion of space can get really overwhelming when standing in line at the check out counter- if you can even call it a line. Everyone just crowds up behind you, as if somehow this will make the checker go faster. It's funny. First I feel annoyed and want to push them away. Then I feel guilty because I'm in their country and I feel like a spoiled, bratty American. I just doesn't seem to bother them, so I guess I can't let it bother me.
1 Comments:
At July 26, 2004 7:16 PM,
Agnieszka said…
I think most people visiting Poland are bothered by the behaviors described by you. Although, I am aware of the fact that they do exist and I must admit that they bother me too, I must say that I don't think that they represent Polish culture, but more so a communist one. I think the staring and no personal space phenomena exists across the central/eastern Europe, which you will find during your travels. The thing is that we always talk about staring old ladies because that is pricasely the truth the people that stare are often old or middle aged people, don't you agree. They do that because Poland as most of the Eastern Block has benn closed for 50 years and for all this time it was very rare for them to see foreigners or people of different races. They stare because they are curious and amazed in the same time that they lived to the moment when Poland is free, tolerant, and full of variety of people. It is sort of like we know that internet is all around us and everyone can use it, but more than likely our grandparents won't because they are not used to it. Same with staring, even though foreigners have been coming here for a while now, old people still can'r get used to it. Young ones don't stare because they don't care. They are like us, they travel, study, and experience different things, thus we are not that attractive for them to look at.
Same things with lines in stores. During the communism stores where empty and people would stand in lines for hours hoping that they would bring something home. There was never enough foreveryone so they had to be persistent and pushy to get things for their families. That attitude remained. They don't trust government and they don't fully believe that times are different now so they act they same as they did then. Again - mostly old people act that way.
To sum up, these peole were scared by the decades of cimmunism and the consequence of that is their present behavior. Let's keep that in mind when we are confronted with their roodness - it frustrates me too, but understanding, in my eyes, is the only way to deal with it.
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